I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
