what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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