How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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