But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
