I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
