I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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