he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
