Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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