im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
