There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
