Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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