my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
