you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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