ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
