Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
