its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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