her vagine was all disorganized.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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