i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
now i know why i became what i already was.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
