I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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