I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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