Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
