Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
