im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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