East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
