Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
