I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
