Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she smelled like a LAN party
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
