Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
