omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
