So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
