The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
