Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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