It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
