so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
