I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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