there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
3 2 1 whiskey
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
