I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
