I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
