I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
