tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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