Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
