Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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