I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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