bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
