My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
