Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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