Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
