You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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