soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
