So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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