NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
