i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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